Cherish the Gift You Already Have
By Dr. Linda Mintle
Family Therapist
www.cbn.comCBN.com – My children don't know there is an American Girl Place shopping bag overstuffed with presents secretly stashed away in my bedroom closet. By the time December hits, I have a mountain of bargain finds, admired goodies and toys to die for tucked away on a shelf. My pre-planned efforts spread the financial burden throughout the year and help avoid the last minute holiday shopping rush.
Sounds like a plan, right? Well something happened years ago that made me rethink my supposedly genius strategy.
It was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, but I felt like a louse! As I gazed at the brilliantly wrapped packages, I was aghast! The tree looked bulimic due to my past. I slumped to the floor and grabbed hold of my man, "We have only two children. There's enough here for ten!"
One by one we started dismantling the swollen pile. This present can wait for a birthday, this one for next Christmas, this one for a special reward. Finally, the stack looked sensible.
We made a decision. Christmas gifts were limited to three types:
- A gift desired.
- Something needed
- Something educational.
Of course, our children hated the idea and hoped that we would eventually come to our senses. We haven't, but we've seen a change. No longer is Christmas an endless list of "wants".
As I listen to children move through the hallways of our home, I hear the chatter of "more". Not only is the meaning of Christmas grossly distorted, but materialism creates ungrateful kids. So instead of a new gaming system, take your kids to a soup kitchen and let them serve. Visit a homeless shelter or a hospital children's ward and put things in perspective.
I realize what I am saying isn't new, but we need a reminder and must examine our motives for this overindulgence. Is it related to guilt from being absent or unavailable, an attempt to communicate love, a competitive attitude with others, a way to garnish an identity and look successful, the worship of idols, a lack of self-restraint, and/or misguided thinking?
As I watch kids quickly open disposable presents and throw them off to the side without even a thank you, I know something is very wrong. When little Suzie tells me Christmas was no fun because she didn't get what she wanted, I think, the Grinch hasn't stolen Christmas, our ungratefulness did that. Christmas is about God giving His Son as a glorious gift to mankind. Don't clutter that gift with so many others that the important gift becomes lost in the fray.
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